Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Fashion faux pas that make my toes curl

1) Wearings leggings as trousers. LEGGINGS AREN'T PANTS. Don't do it. Just don't. Even if you have a perfectly formed ass (which isn't the case with most people who do this, and you can see every bit of cellulite, even if you don't have any), you still have a huge camel toe risk, and I automatically label you as "cheap" or someone who likes and probably needs the attention.

2) Crocs. I'm sorry, do I even have to explain this one? Crocs were never pretty and they never will be. I don't care how comfortable they are: it's the ugliest shoe (can I even call it a shoe?) I've ever seen. If you have a pair: burn them. Then bury the remains. Never speak of it again. Just pretend like it never happened.

3) White trousers: This is a personal one. I rarely like white pants. White jeans: no problem. White pants: problem. I almost never find it flattering. You can either see every detail of your not so perfectly formed body (by which I don't mean "ugly", just normal) or your underwear is showing through the fabric, and not in a good way. Though there's never a good way really.

4) Heels lower than 5 cm. You either choose flats or heels, but shoes with an eeniemeenie heel don't count as heels. There are exceptions, but why bother buying heels if you're opting for the lowest one?  To me, it looks stupid. Go hard or go home. Again: I'm not saying it's impossible. There are small heeled shoes that are gorgeous, but in a cute sandal kind of way. If it looks like a pump without height, you're doing it wrong. 

5) Michelin/puffer jackets. Now, I know a lot of people like these jackets. I'm sure they're very warm and comfortable, and I'm pretty sure they can keep you from drowning if you ever fall off a boat, but seriously people: There are millions of other options out there that actually look good. Why would you wanna walk around looking like the Michelin Man? I've only met one person that looked good in one, and it's only because he was a really cute guy, so deep down I know that factor completely clouded my judgement about the jacket, because michelin jackets are néver attractive.

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